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Judith Martin DEAR MISS MANNERS: I accept shoulder-length beard that I abrasion up in a simple aberration style. At atomic several times per week, an associate asks me, “Why don’t you anytime abrasion your beard down?” or exclaims, “I’ve never apparent you with your beard down!” They afresh chase up with, “You should absolutely abrasion it bottomward added often!” or even, “Will you abrasion it bottomward to the accident I’m hosting?”

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What does one do with these types of comments and questions? Frankly, I acquisition them insulting. I’m tempted to acknowledgment with such acerb retorts as, “I do abrasion my beard down, but alone at affectionate moments,” or “And I’ve never apparent YOU naked!”

How can I affably acquaint them that it’s absolutely none of their business, and if they don’t like my hairstyle, they charge not attending at me?

GENTLE READER: The amenities breach you call is accepted as actuality “overly familiar,” and has itself become all too familiar.

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Miss Manners’ band-aid is to antithesis it with added formality. Think of it as demography a footfall aback back addition gets too close:

“Why don’t you anytime abrasion your beard down?”

“I do.”

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“I’ve never apparent you with your beard down!”

“Oh?”

“You should absolutely abrasion it bottomward added often!”

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“I adopt it this way.”

“Will you abrasion it bottomward to the accident I’m hosting?”

“We’ll see.”

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DEAR MISS MANNERS: I accustomed a “save the date” for the bells for a ancestors friend, a adolescent man I acclimated to guard and accept watched abound up. Unfortunately, I will be out of the country on the big day.

Should I accelerate my abjure now, to save them the time and agitation of sending a academic invitation, or delay for that formality?

GENTLE READER: As the “save the date” agenda is not, technically, an invitation, you are not, carefully speaking, appropriate to respond. Before she is deluged with belletrist by angered brides, Miss Manners adds that it would about be both affable and accommodating to accurate your regret.

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Readers accept alerted Miss Manners to an baffling convenance of after apathy to allure all the recipients of “save the date” cards, but she trusts you apperceive your accompany able-bodied abundant to be assured they will not acknowledge by cogent you wwill be demography your bench or how abundant money you accept adored them.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Aback I had banquet with a acquaintance wlives in a retirement community, a changeable acquaintance of his chock-full by our table to accost him. I reflexively stood, as I was accomplished to do for a adult earlier than I. I resumed my

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